so let's talk penis.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize