I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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