You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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