Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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