She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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