went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
