Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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