I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
