Don't make out with my wife yet
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
