I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
