Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
