Old men and throwing up are my life now.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
