Whoa Z and x make the same sound
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
she told me i tasted like america
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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