Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
