If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
it was like having sex with a tree stump
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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