doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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