She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
