i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
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