i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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