you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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