Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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