i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
