i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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