Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
my sisters under your porch take her home
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
