I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
The uberlube is also flammable
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
