hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
