Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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