Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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