Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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