I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
