Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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