He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
