you guys were way drunker than both of me
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
