Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Then you guys just all showered together...?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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