I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I smell like Dick and happiness
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
