Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
drinking out of a sandbucket again
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
