She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
