my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
