Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Even my vagina gasped.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
