we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
