no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
