Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
i've created a new STD.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
