I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
