So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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