found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
