no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
