shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
