I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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