He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
