I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
