In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
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