HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
