I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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