his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
