using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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