i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
