Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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