i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
